1
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:09,274
HEY!

2
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,877
I CHALLENGE YOU TO
A WATER-DRINKING DUEL.

3
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,456
WHAT THE HECK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,280
YOU HEARD ME...
A WATER-DRINKING DUEL,

5
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,516
MANO A MANO, AGUA A AGUA.

6
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,786
TO THE VICTOR GO THE SPOILS.
HA!

7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,655
[ Laughing ] AND WHY
ARE YOU DOING THIS?

8
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:26,325
BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF YOU BEATING
ME IN EVERY CONTEST WE HAVE.

9
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,261
YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME,
STRONGER, FASTER. BETTER-LOOKING.

10
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:32,698
YEAH, YOU'RE SEXY WITH YOUR BROAD
SHOULDERS AND YOUR DEFINED PECS.

11
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,334
BUT I MAY NOT BE ABLE
TO OUTFOOSBALL YOU.

12
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:36,946
I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE
TO OUTBOX YOU.

13
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,481
I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE
TO OUTRUN YOU.

14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,116
BUT I CAN DRINK A BOTTLE
OF WATER FASTER THAN YOU.

15
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,407
I'VE BEEN PRACTICING.

16
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,818
AND YOU REALLY WANT
TO DO THIS?

17
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,476
I BELIEVE I MUST.

18
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,813
OKAY. I MUST WARN YOU THAT
I'M GONNA BEAT YOU AGAIN.

19
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:51,150
I LAUGH ON YOUR LAPEL.
HA HA!

20
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,318
YOU MAY BE SUPERMAN,

21
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,821
BUT THIS BOTTLE OF WATER
IS YOUR KRYPTONITE... READY?

22
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,690
OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND.
LET ME WARM UP MY THROAT.

23
00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:05,531
OH-OH-UG-UG-UG-UG-UG.

24
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:09,802
OKAY.
ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO.

25
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,237
GO! OH, MAN.

26
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,640
OH, MAN,
I CAN'T... WHOA.

27
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:17,476
LOOK AT... WHOO!
OH, MAN.

28
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:20,412
I WIN! IN YOUR FACE, DADDY!
IN YOUR FACE!

29
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,514
BOOYASHAKA!

30
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:25,350
WOW.
I DIDN'T EVEN GET THE CAP OFF.

31
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,663
YOU GOOD. ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO
THE BEST TWO OUT OF THREE.

32
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,221
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

33
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:32,291
EY-EY-EY-EY-EY.

34
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,793
OKAY.

35
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:37,296
HERE'S YOUR TWO
AND THEN THERE'S THE THREE.

36
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,498
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.

37
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,200
YOU GOT THE CAP
OFF THIS TIME?

38
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,268
READY... SET... GO!

39
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,270
GO!

40
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,040
WOW.
HOW YOU... MMM.

41
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,110
KEEP GOING,
'CAUSE YOU GOT TO DO THREE.

42
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,979
I WIN AGAIN, DADDY!
IN YOUR FACE, DADDY!

43
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:57,549
IN YOUR FACE!
YOU BEEN HYDROLATED.

44
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,588
OH, MAN,
YOU BEAT ME AGAIN.

45
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:03,655
I SURE DID.

46
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,824
YOU'VE BEEN...

47
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,826
I BEAT YOU.

48
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:11,230
WOW. YOU GOT TO GIVE ME
ANOTHER SHOT, SON.

49
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,833
LET'S DO THE BEST
52 OUT OF 165, OKAY?

50
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,201
OKAY, OKAY.

51
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:17,746
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING?

52
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:21,140
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR THE KYLE
WATER-DRINKING COMPETITION.

53
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,685
JUNIOR IS LIKE A LITTLE CAMEL.
LOOK AT THIS.

54
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,310
ALL OF THAT, AND STILL
AIN'T GO TO THE BATHROOM YET.

55
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,545
YEAH, I DID.

56
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,380
YOU DID? WHEN?
JUST NOW.

57
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,149
OH.

58
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,384
WELL,
FORGET ABOUT ALL THAT.

59
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,553
I HAVE SOMETHING
MORE IMPORTANT TO DISCUSS.

60
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,688
THIS SATURDAY
IS SWEETHEART'S DAY.

61
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:39,324
SWEETHEART'S DAY?
I NEVER HEARD OF THAT ONE.

62
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,426
I JUST MADE IT UP.

63
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,996
YOU WANT ME TO BUY YOU A CARD
FOR A DAY YOU JUST MADE UP?

64
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,764
WHOA, BROTHER.

65
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:51,069
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT A CARD.

66
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,538
I WANT DIAMONDS.

67
00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:55,374
DIAMONDS.

68
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:58,277
I NEED TO COME UP WITH A HOLIDAY
THAT'S FAKE LIKE THIS.

69
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,245
YOU DO,
BUT YOU DIDN'T... I DID.

70
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,947
GOT IT.
HA HA HA!

71
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,849
OH, YOU'RE IN
THIS LITTLE SCAM, TOO?

72
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,717
YEAH, I WANT
SOME DIAMONDS, TOO.

73
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,452
AFTER 16 HOURS
LAYING ON MY BACK,

74
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,621
TRYING TO SQUEEZE
JUNIOR JUNIOR'S BIG HEAD OUT,

75
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,424
I WANT A DIAMOND
FOR EVERY STITCH.

76
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,726
DON'T FORGET ABOUT
THE STRETCH MARKS, GIRL.

77
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:18,163
[ LAUGHING ]

78
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,299
I DIDN'T GET
ANY OF THOSE.

79
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,234
[ COUGHING ]

80
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:23,802
I PROMISE
I'LL GET YOU SOMETHING.

81
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,804
FOR WHAT?
SWEETHEART'S DAY.

82
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,883
WHAT'S THAT? YOUR
MOTHER JUST MADE IT UP

83
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:29,852
TO EXTORT PRESENTS OUT OF
ALL THE MEN IN THIS FAMILY.

84
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,543
WELL, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
COUNT ME IN.

85
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,745
OKAY, SO NOW THAT WE GOT
ALL THAT STRAIGHT,

86
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:36,215
Y'ALL CAN GO BACK TO YOUR
STUPID LITTLE DRINKING CONTEST.

87
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,550
BYE-BYE.
COME ON, LADIES.

88
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,095
ALL RIGHT,
JUNIOR, LOOK.

89
00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:41,764
WE GOT TO MAKE THIS
INTERESTING, OKAY?

90
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,933
WE GOT TO UP THE ANTE,
BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS.

91
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,457
YOU KNOW WHAT?

92
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,292
THIS IS WHAT
WE GONNA DO.

93
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,329
OKAY.
[ GROANS ]

94
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,631
NOW LET'S SEE HOW GOOD
YOU REALLY ARE.

95
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,866
YOU DRINK THIS.

96
00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:57,502
GO AHEAD. COME ON.
YOU THE CHAMP.

97
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,438
HERE.
TAKE THE TOP OFF FOR YOU.

98
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:00,839
READY?

99
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,147
ON THE COUNT OF 3... LET ME
GET THE TOP OFF FIRST,

100
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,421
'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'LL JUST
GUZZLE THAT DOWN RIGHT AWAY.

101
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,113
COME ON.
1... 2... 3... GO!

102
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,514
MM-MMM.

103
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,864
Michael: WOW, THAT CERTAINLY IS
IS BEAUTIFUL.

104
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:17,356
HOW MUCH IS IT?

105
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,759
MICHAEL JORDAN!

106
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,261
EXCUSE ME?

107
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,839
I DON'T USE
THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN.

108
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:26,198
I SAY THE NEXT BEST THING.
THAT'S... THAT'S EXPENSIVE.

109
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,200
CAN YOU BELIEVE MY WIFE

110
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,468
ACTUALLY MADE UP A HOLIDAY
CALLED "SWEETHEART'S DAY"

111
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,183
SO SHE CAN GET
SOME DIAMONDS OUT OF ME?

112
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,939
OH, YOU GOT OFF EASY.

113
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,151
I ONCE MADE UP A HOLIDAY
CALLED "HONEY'S WEEK."

114
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:37,709
I GOT MYSELF A HOUSE.

115
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,312
OH, WELL, THE DIAMONDS
ARE NOT THAT BAD, THEN.

116
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,747
YOU KNOW WHAT?

117
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:44,014
LET ME SEE THE CHEAPER ONE
I WAS LOOKING AT EARLIER.

118
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,354
YEAH, THESE.

119
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,393
THAT'S NOT THAT BAD, I MEAN,
FOR SWEETHEART'S DAY.

120
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,595
IT'S JUST
A NONSENSE HOLIDAY, ANYWAY.

121
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,830
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

122
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,409
I THINK IT LOOKS LIKE
WHAT IT IS...

123
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,800
THE CHEAPER ONE.

124
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,279
SO I SHOULD PROBABLY GO
WITH THAT?

125
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,537
SHE WILL LOVE IT.

126
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:08,006
DO YOU WANT IT IN THE GOLD
SETTING OR THE PLATINUM?

127
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,975
GOLD OR PLATINUM...
THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

128
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:13,045
LET ME CALL HER AND ASK HER...
SEE WHAT MY BABY THINK.

129
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,147
[ CHUCKLES ]

130
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:16,592
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE WEARING MY SHIRT!

131
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,050
IT'S TOO TIGHT ON YOU!

132
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,129
IT FITS ME PERFECTLY,
YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!

133
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,363
WHAT'S THE POINT OF WEARING
A SHIRT THAT'S NOT TIGHT?!

134
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:22,898
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU HAVE TO WEAR MY CLOTHES!

135
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:24,256
BECAUSE IT WAS CLEAN!

136
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,458
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
IHEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

137
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:30,329
LOOK, MY HEAD IS POUNDING
FROM ALL OF THIS ARGUING, OKAY?!

138
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,397
I AM TRYING
TO FEED THE BABY.

139
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,877
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ] GET
THAT. I'M SURE IT'S FOR ONE OF YOU.

140
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,235
ANYONE I WANT TO TALK
TO CALLS MY CELL. DITTO.

141
00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:38,303
I'LL GET IT.

142
00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:42,274
HELLO?

143
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,852
Michael:
HEY, SCHNOOKUMS.

144
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:45,854
IS THIS MY FAVORITE GIRL
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD?

145
00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,212
WHO IS THIS?

146
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,481
WHO IS... IT'S MICHAEL.

147
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,882
MICHAEL?

148
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,428
YEAH, MICHAEL,
YOUR HUSBAND.

149
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,419
OKAY, MICHAEL,
CUT THE CUTE CRAP, OKAY?

150
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:55,998
I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING.

151
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,823
YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY,
SAY IT.

152
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,325
I'M... YOU KNOW WHAT?
NEVER MIND.

153
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,460
FINE.

154
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:08,800
SHE IS GOING TO LOVE THIS.

155
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:12,104
SHE SURE IS... I'M GONNA SEND
HER BY AND LET HER LOOK AT IT,

156
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:15,774
BUT I'M GONNA GO
WITH THE CHEAPER ONE.

157
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,242
DO YOU WANT ME TO WRAP IT?

158
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,845
NO. I'LL JUST PUT IT
IN MY POCKET.

159
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:21,480
I'M WITH THAT.

160
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,555
OOH-HOO!

161
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:33,158
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA SEE YOUR TWO PRETZELS

162
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,260
AND RAISE YOU FIVE
WITH THIS HAND.

163
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,829
HAS ANYONE BOUGHT
THEIR GIFT YET?

164
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,364
NO, NO.
I HAVE TO GO DO THAT.

165
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,400
YEAH, ME TOO.

166
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,135
I DISCOVERED
SOMETHING TODAY

167
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:44,713
THAT WILL CHANGE
THE COURSE OF GIFT-GIVING

168
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,837
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

169
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,172
WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER?

170
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,507
CHECK THIS OUT.

171
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,085
JUST BEFORE I SPENT
A BUNCH OF MONEY

172
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,543
ON A GIFT
FOR YOUR MOTHER,

173
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:55,080
I CALLED HER AT HOME, AND SHE
WAS SO MEAN AND NASTY TO ME,

174
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,816
I ENDED UP BUYING
THE CHEAPER GIFT INSTEAD.

175
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,352
WHOO.
THAT IS GOOD.

176
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,855
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER ON THE PHONE

177
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,963
RIGHT BEFORE YOU'RE ABOUT
TO MAKE A PURCHASE,

178
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:09,194
AND I GUARANTEE YOU, YOU WILL
SAVE YOURSELF A FORTUNE.

179
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,662
THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, DAD.

180
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,665
SEE, WHAT YOU DO
IS YOU CALL HER,

181
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:17,502
AND THEN YOU RATE HER ATTITUDE
TOWARD YOU ON A 1-TO-10 SCALE.

182
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,471
AND THEN,
WHATEVER THAT NUMBER IS,

183
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,207
THAT'S HOW YOU DETERMINE HOW
MUCH YOU'RE GONNA SPEND ON HER.

184
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,743
HUH? HUH?

185
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,913
I THINK WHAT MR. KYLE
IS TRYING TO SAY IS,

186
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:31,082
IF YOU CALL YOUR GIRL AND RATE
HER ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU AS 7,

187
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,718
THEN THAT'S HOW MUCH MONEY
YOU'D SPEND ON HER... $70.

188
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:37,422
EXACTLY,
AND IT'S GUILT-FREE SAVINGS.

189
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:40,592
OOH. HEY, DAD.
WHAT DID YOU RATE MOM TODAY?

190
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,160
[ LAUGHS ]

191
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,795
A 3.

192
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:44,796
OH, MAN.

193
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,598
MAMA GOT A 3, Y'ALL.

194
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,000
OH, THAT IS
A DARN GOOD SAVINGS.

195
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,469
HERE'S THE GIFT.

196
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,471
[ LAUGHTER ]

197
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,539
THIS IS HOW
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HER...

198
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:58,710
"HERE'S YOUR GIFT, BABY.
HAPPY SWEETHEART'S DAY."

199
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,146
OH.

200
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,283
SO, FRANKIE, BABY,
DID YOU TRY OUT MY PLAN?

201
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:08,687
YES, AND, AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME
TO TELL YOU, MR. KYLE,

202
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,690
KADY WAS A TAD SHORT WITH ME
ON THE PHONE, AS WELL.

203
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,836
ISN'T EVERYBODY SHORT
WITH YOU, FRANKLIN?

204
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,727
[ LAUGHING ]

205
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,062
SIT DOWN, BOY.

206
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,064
DID YOU TRY OUT
THE SYSTEM?

207
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,732
YEP,
AND IT SAVED ME $20.

208
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,377
OH, SHE WAS MEAN TO YOU
ON THE PHONE?

209
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:24,936
YEAH, I THINK SO. SHE CALLED ME
"THE THING STUCK TO THE RING."

210
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:28,139
OH, THAT IS GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.

211
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:29,708
LOOK AT THOSE WOMEN
IN THERE.

212
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:33,879
THEY HAVE NO IDEA THAT THEY HURT
THEMSELVES BY HURTING US.

213
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,213
Tony: HEY, GUYS.

214
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,949
OH, TONY'S HERE.
DID YOU TRY OUT THE SYSTEM?

215
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,484
I'M ABOUT TO.

216
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,563
THIS IS A PROMISE RING
I GOT FROM A JEWELRY STORE,

217
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:43,532
AND THIS IS A PROMISE RING
I GOT FROM A GUMBALL MACHINE

218
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,033
OUTSIDE
OF THE JEWELRY STORE.

219
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,002
LET'S SEE WHICH ONE SHE GETS
AND WHICH ONE GETS RETURNED.

220
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,960
HERE SHE COMES.

221
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,329
HEY, SWEETHEART.

222
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,631
DON'T "SWEETHEART" ME.

223
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,343
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
A HALF HOUR AGO.

224
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,936
EVERYBODY ELSE IS HERE.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, YOU LOSER?

225
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,973
NO PROBLEM AT ALL.

226
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,042
GUMBALL MACHINE?
GUMBALL MACHINE.

227
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,678
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS,
AND I WANT TO GO FIRST

228
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,114
TO SHOW YOU GUYS
HOW THE PRO GETS IT DONE.

229
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:14,319
LADIES, LADIES, MAY WE HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?

230
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,021
YOU SURE MAY.

231
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:17,522
IN HONOR
OF SWEETHEART'S DAY,

232
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:21,259
CREATED BY
THE LOVELY SWEETHEART HERSELF,

233
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,695
MS. JANET MARIE KYLE,

234
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:26,498
WE THE MEN IN YOUR LIVES
HAVE GIFTS FOR YOU.

235
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,666
OH!

236
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,301
AND I, BEING
THE ELDER STATESMAN,

237
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:30,669
WOULD LIKE TO GO FIRST.

238
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,103
OH!
I'M FIRST.

239
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,272
JAY KYLE,
OPEN YOUR GIFT, BABY.

240
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,141
THANK YOU, BABY!

241
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,310
THANK YOU FOR MY DIAMOND...
PEARLS.

242
00:09:38,377 --> 00:09:40,946
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL,
AREN'T THEY?

243
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,013
UM...

244
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:45,750
YES,
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, MICHAEL.

245
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,596
AND, YOU KNOW, MICHAEL,
IT'S NOT THE GIFT.

246
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,231
IT'S THE THOUGHT,
IT'S THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT

247
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,057
THAT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME,
SO THANK YOU.

248
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:53,502
IF YOU LIKED THOSE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN

249
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,671
WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE GOT
IF YOU HADN'T BEEN... OH!

250
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,228
YOU SEE THAT HORNET?

251
00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,308
THERE WAS A HORNET THAT LANDED
RIGHT THERE ON YOUR HEAD, MAN.

252
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,099
GOOD THING I CHASED IT AWAY.

253
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,611
I WOULDN'T WANT YOU
TO GET STUNG.

254
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,346
WELL, THANK YOU FOR SAVING,
MR. KYLE.

255
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,838
BUT AS I WAS SAYING
TO MRS. KYLE, YOU... OW!

256
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:10,075
IT MUST HAVE COME BACK.
ARE YOU USING HONEY SHAMPOO?

257
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:13,211
NO!
NO, LAVENDER.

258
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,347
OH, MAN.
BUT AS I WAS SAYING...

259
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:18,049
LISTEN, STUPID!

260
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,485
HE'S-KA TRYING-KA

261
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:24,089
TO-KA TELL-KA YOU-KA

262
00:10:24,156 --> 00:10:28,660
NOT-KA TO-KA SAY ANYTHING-KA

263
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:32,263
ABOUT THE WOMEN
RATING SYSTEM-KA.

264
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:38,303
IT'S A SECRET.
SHH-KA.

265
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,972
WHAT THE KA IS GOING ON
AROUND HERE?

266
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,209
OH, NO, NO.
SHE BROKE THE CODE, MAN.

267
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,144
OHH. MNH-MNH-MNH.

268
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,246
SOMEBODY BETTER
TELL ME SOMETHING.

269
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,648
IT'S A REALLY
FUNNY STORY.

270
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,784
I WILL PROTECT YOU, TONY.
GO AHEAD. TALK TO ME.

271
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,953
MR. KYLE HAD THIS
INTERESTING NEW IDEA WHERE,

272
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,621
BEFORE WE BOUGHT
YOU GUYS A GIFT,

273
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,957
WE CALLED YOU AND RATED
YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD US

274
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,425
ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10.

275
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,960
IT WAS A GAG.

276
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,261
YOU GOT A 3.

277
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,562
A 3?!

278
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:05,864
A 3?!

279
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:09,000
THE SCALE WAS ON
A SCALE OF 1 TO 3,

280
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:12,037
AND IT WAS BACKWARDS,
AND SO YOU CAME OUT ON TOP.

281
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:14,372
NO, NO, NO, IT WASN'T.

282
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,776
BUT... BUT IT WASN'T
JUST ME, BABY.

283
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,611
WE ALL DID IT...
ALL THE GUYS.

284
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,280
WE ALL GOT YOU... YEAH, WE DID.
SHOW HER YOUR GIFT.

285
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,949
FOR YOU, MY LOVE.

286
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,652
[ GASPS ]
DIAMONDS, FRANKLIN.

287
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,388
HOW SWEET. SO CUTE.

288
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,792
WELL, I KNOW
TONY, TONY...

289
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,794
YOU KNOW, TONY'S
PROBABLY GOT SOMETHING.

290
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:36,761
WHAT ABOUT YOU,
TONY?

291
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,730
GIVE HER
THE GUMBALL THING.

292
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,665
NO, I GOT THAT
FOR MY MOM.

293
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,802
ANYWAY,
THIS IS FOR YOU.

294
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,671
[ GASPS ]
OH, A DIAMOND.

295
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:49,107
TONY, THANK YOU.
OH, I LOVE IT.

296
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,742
[ SMOOCHES ]

297
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,545
I KNOW JUNIOR DIDN'T GET
NO DIAMOND, RIGHT?

298
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,346
YOU'RE TOO DUMB
TO GET HER DIAMONDS.

299
00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,382
NO, I'M NOT.
NO?

300
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,285
BABY, I GOT YOU
THE DIAMOND YOU WANTED

301
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,087
WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING.

302
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:04,789
I SAVED UP MONEY FOR IT
BY SKIPPING LUNCH, GIVING BLOOD,

303
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:07,459
AND SELLING MY HAIR
FOR HAIR TRANSPLANTS.

304
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,561
ANYWAY, HAPPY
SWEETHEART'S DAY, BABY.

305
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,097
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU, JU-JU!

306
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,998
YOU'RE WELCOME, BABY!

307
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,143
MMM! MMM! MMM! MMM! MMM! MMM!

308
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,168
I LOVE YOU, TONY!

309
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,904
I LOVE YOU, FRANKLIN.

310
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,940
YOU A JERK.

311
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:24,309
OH, HE WAS GONNA THROW IT
ON YOUR HEAD LIKE THAT.

312
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,644
REMEMBER THAT?
OH!

313
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:31,182
Jay:
UNBELIEVABLE.

314
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,016
THE MAN RATES ME A 3...
A 3, LORD.

315
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,161
Jay:
UNBELIEVABLE.

316
00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:34,329
THE MAN RATES ME A 3...
A 3, LORD.

317
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,831
I SHOULD BE A 6
FOR JUST MARRYING HIM.

318
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,899
COME ON, JAY. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TAKE IT TO THE LORD.

319
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,824
THIS IS NO BIG DEAL.

320
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,360
MICHAEL, YOU SAID I WAS A 3...
A 3? A 3, MICHAEL?!

321
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,429
OKAY, BUT, LISTEN,
IN ALL FAIRNESS TO ME,

322
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,865
YOU WERE REALLY MEAN WHEN I
CALLED YOU FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

323
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,533
NO REASON?!

324
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:52,036
WHAT DO YOU THINK...
I'M JUST PSYCHOTIC?

325
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,038
THAT I JUST GO BERSERK
AT THE DROP OF A DIME?

326
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,641
WELL...
SHUT UP!

327
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,811
MICHAEL, THERE WAS A REASON
WHY I WAS SHORT WITH YOU.

328
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,279
THIS HOUSE WAS IN CHAOS.

329
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,824
THE KIDS WERE FIGHTING.
I WAS TRYING TO FEED THE BABY.

330
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,282
I AM VERY SORRY

331
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,128
THAT I DIDN'T GIVE YOU
THE PROPER LOVE AND AFFECTION

332
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,696
YOU FELT YOU HAD COMING
AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT,

333
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,354
BUT I MISTAKENLY THOUGHT

334
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,923
THAT YOU WERE THE ONLY MAN ON
EARTH I COULD BE UNGUARDED WITH.

335
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:13,631
SEE, BUT,
AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT...

336
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:17,228
AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT
PARTICULAR MOMENT, SHALL WE?

337
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,898
YES, WE SHALL.

338
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,668
NOW, YOU ARE SAYING TO ME...
[ LAUGHING ]

339
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,639
...IN THIS BIG SCHEME
OF YOURS,

340
00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:30,842
THAT ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE
THAT YOU GIVE TO ME

341
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,511
IS SOLELY DEPENDENT
UPON HOW I ACT TOWARDS YOU

342
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,814
AT SOME PARTICULAR
RANDOM MOMENT OF YOUR CHOOSING.

343
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,882
WELL, THAT'S
THE INITIAL IDEA, BUT...

344
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:42,120
AND I GUESS I GET NO CREDIT
FOR RUINING MY BODY...

345
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:45,857
AND GIVING BIRTH TO YOUR
THREE BIG-HEADED KIDS.

346
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,092
WHAT WAS MY SCORE
ON THAT, MICHAEL?

347
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,495
AND WHAT WAS MY SCORE

348
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,844
WHEN I WAS WORKING THE NIGHT
SHIFT AT THE SUPERMARKET,

349
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,333
TRYING TO HELP YOU GET YOUR
TRUCKING COMPANY OFF THE GROUND,

350
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:58,336
AFTER WATCHING LITTLE JUNIOR
ALL DAY LONG?

351
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:03,274
AND WHAT WAS MY SCORE
ON LOVING YOU

352
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,343
WHILE YOU WERE
LOSING YOUR HAIR?

353
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,022
"AM I LOSING MY HAIR?
AM I LOSING MY HAIR?

354
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:08,957
IS MY HAIR ON THE PILLOW?
IS IT THIN IN THE BACK?

355
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,692
IS IT THIN IN THE BACK?
IS IT THIN IN THE BACK?"

356
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:13,518
WHAT WAS MY SCORE
ON THAT, BALDY?!

357
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:18,556
10?

358
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:20,959
DAMN RIGHT IT WAS A 10!

359
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,262
MICHAEL, NOT ONLY DID YOU HURT
ME, BUT YOU DID IT PUBLICLY.

360
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,631
YOU MADE A JOKE OUT OF IT.
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

361
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,972
IT DIDN'T GO
THAT FAR BACK.

362
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:39,143
OKAY, WHO WANTS
MORE BLUEBERRY WAFFLES?

363
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,111
ME, ME!
ME, ME! ME, ME!

364
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:41,546
ROUND TWO... COMING UP.

365
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:42,981
Michael:
HOLD UP.

366
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:47,552
ARE THOSE JAY'S FAMOUS
BLUEBERRY WAFFLES THAT I SMELL?

367
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,621
THEY SURE ARE.

368
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:53,024
ONLY THING I LOVE MORE THAN
THOSE WAFFLES IS JAY HERSELF.

369
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,260
[ LAUGHS ]
4.

370
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,595
YOU'RE RATING ME
ON WALKING INTO THE KITCHEN?

371
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,497
I'M SORRY.
DOES THAT SEEM UNFAIR TO YOU?

372
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,933
DON'T YOU LIKE BEING JUDGED
AT MY WHIM?

373
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,969
I DON'T MIND. I JUST THOUGHT
I DID BETTER THAN A 4.

374
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:07,772
THERE'S NO JURY HERE, MICHAEL.
THERE'S NO INSTANT REPLAY.

375
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,807
IT'S ALL UP TO ME,
AND I SAY 4!

376
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,109
4?

377
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:13,878
HERE.
ENJOY YOUR BREAKFAST.

378
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,114
WHAT'S THIS...
UNCOOKED BACON?

379
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,916
WHAT I AM SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH THIS?

380
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:19,550
WHAT ABOUT
THE BLUEBERRY WAFFLES?

381
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:21,386
NO, THE BLUEBERRY WAFFLES
ARE FOR MY 10s.

382
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:22,820
EVERYBODY HERE GOT A 10?

383
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,455
10.
10.10.

384
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,424
10-KA.

385
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,826
ENJOY YOUR BACON.

386
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:40,371
HOW'S THAT LOOK, SON?
CAN YOU TELL THAT IT'S BACON?

387
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,673
THAT'S YOU.

388
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:46,044
OKAY.

389
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,645
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

390
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,257
CAN WE STOP THIS ALREADY?
2.

391
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:53,017
WHAT'S THAT? I GIVE
YOUR APOLOGY... A 2.

392
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:54,652
AND WHAT DO I GET FOR A 2?

393
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,022
OH, WELL, FOR A 10, YOU WOULD
HAVE GOTTEN ALL OF THIS,

394
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:01,326
MICHAEL, ALL NIGHT LONG,
IN THE OUTFIT OF YOUR CHOICE.

395
00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:02,727
AND FOR THE 2?

396
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:07,065
FOR THE 2, YOU GET 5 MINUTES
ALONE IN THE BATHROOM

397
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,701
WITH A COPY OF "TROUT MONTHLY"

398
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,636
AND NONE OF THIS...

399
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,938
NONE OF THIS,
MICHAEL.

400
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:16,074
NONE OF THIS.

401
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,876
NONE. NONE.

402
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,385
FRANKLIN,
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

403
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,921
OHH, THAT'S
THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR.

404
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,656
YOU'VE GOT MANY PROBLEMS,

405
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,525
BUT WHICH PROBLEM IN PARTICULAR
DO YOU WANT ME TO FOCUS ON?

406
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,761
THE SWEETHEART'S DAY
PROBLEM.

407
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:40,698
OH, SO YOU MEAN
THE SWEETHEART'S DAY "DEBACLE"?

408
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,801
YOU MEAN
THE SWEETHEART'S DAY "MASSACRE"?

409
00:16:43,869 --> 00:16:47,438
YOU MEAN THE NIGHTMARE
ON "SWEETHEART'S DAY"?

410
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,941
"YES,
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN."

411
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,542
LOOK, MR. KYLE,

412
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:54,278
AS SOON AS TONY OPENED
HIS BIG MOUTH, YOU WERE DOOMED.

413
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,814
NOW ALL YOU CAN DO IS ADMIT
YOU WERE WRONG, GROVEL,

414
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,182
AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.

415
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,584
I'VE DONE ALL THAT,

416
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:01,396
AND IT'S STILL GOT ME
SLEEPING ON THE COUCH.

417
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:04,489
WELL, YOU HAVE TO MAKE MRS. KYLE
FEEL LIKE SHE'S A 10.

418
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:05,990
AND HOW DO I DO THAT?

419
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:10,828
SIMPLE... LAVISH HER
WITH "AT-TEN-TION."

420
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,330
[ CHUCKLES ]

421
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,009
AND WHAT IF THAT
DOESN'T WORK?

422
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:18,870
WELL, THEN, IT BECOMES
SWEETHEART'S DAY OF "THE CORN."

423
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,905
[ LAUGHING ]

424
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,345
[ LAUGHING ]

425
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,018
WHAT'S ALL THIS?

426
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:35,920
MMM.
SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.

427
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:43,561
[ French accent ] THE SOMETHING
YOU SMELL IS A PORK ROAST,

428
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:47,799
BROWNING LOVINGLY
AND GLAZED TO PERFECTION

429
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,934
IN THE "HHH-OVEN."

430
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,903
IN THE HHH-OVEN?

431
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,738
IN THE HHH-OVEN.

432
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,173
AND WHY ARE YOU IN A TUX?

433
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,708
BECAUSE I'M TRYING
TO LOOK GOOD FOR MY...

434
00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,812
HOW DO YOU SAY... BABY.

435
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,713
AND WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?

436
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:05,950
WELL, SO THEY WOULD NOT
BOTHER US FOR THE EVENING,

437
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,752
I HAD THEM ALL KILLED.

438
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,120
OH.

439
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,522
THAT'S ACTUALLY KADY IN THE OVEN
AND COOKING RIGHT NOW.

440
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,724
OH, HOW DELIGHTFUL.

441
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,693
OH, YES, PLEASE, HAVE
A SEAT, MADEMOISELLE.

442
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,361
THANK YOU.

443
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,189
MAY I POUR YOU
A GLASS OF VINO?

444
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,999
YOU MAY.

445
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:23,578
[ CHUCKLES ]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

446
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,069
OH, OH.

447
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:34,212
I WILL JOIN YOU.

448
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:38,282
NOW, MAY I MASSAGE
YOUR FEET?

449
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:39,884
NO, MICHAEL,
THAT'S GOING TOO FAR.

450
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,186
Shh!

451
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:47,091
LET ME MASSAGE THE LOVELY FEET,
POUR A LITTLE WINE.

452
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,760
NO, MICHAEL, THAT'S UNNECESSARY.
NO... AAH!

453
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:51,706
LUBRICANT AND TO KILL
THE GERMS.

454
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:55,333
WHOA-OH.

455
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,734
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

456
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,236
OOH.

457
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,605
IT FEELS GOOD, HUH, YES?
OOH.

458
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:01,739
YES? NO?

459
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,674
YES.
I'LL TAKE THAT AS "YES."

460
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:05,743
OKAY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.

461
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,021
NO.
I LOVE THE FEET.

462
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,213
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

463
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:13,050
OKAY, LISTEN,
I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

464
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:15,253
I REALLY DO,
AND I REALLY APPRECIATE IT,

465
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,722
BUT I'M NOT READY
TO NOT BE ANGRY AT YOU.

466
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:19,090
I'M SORRY.

467
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,827
[ Normal voice ] I KNOW.
AND I DON'T BLAME YOU.

468
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:27,265
HERE'S THE APOLOGY I SHOULD HAVE
GIVEN YOU EARLIER.

469
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,034
JAY, I WAS WRONG.

470
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,370
YOU AND I HAVE BEEN
THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER,

471
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,772
AND EVEN THOUGH WE HAD
UPS AND DOWNS,

472
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,241
YOU'VE ALWAYS
BEEN THERE FOR ME.

473
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,876
I LOST SIGHT OF THAT,

474
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:42,313
BUT I DO LOVE YOU.

475
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:46,717
I LOVE YOU FOR GIVING ME
THREE BIG-HEADED KIDS.

476
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,953
AND I LOVE YOU FOR BEING
THE BEST WOMAN

477
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,488
THAT A MAN COULD EVER HAVE.

478
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:53,991
AND AS FAR
AS I'M CONCERNED,

479
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,394
WITH YOU, EVERY DAY
IS SWEETHEART'S DAY...

480
00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:59,274
...EVEN THOUGH
YOU MADE IT UP.

481
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:02,166
DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT,
MICHAEL?

482
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,869
I REALLY DO.
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A 10 TO ME.

483
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:08,072
THANK YOU.

484
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,077
WELL?

485
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,749
UH, YEAH.

486
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,051
UM...

487
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,185
9.

488
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,554
A 9?
I SEE 9.

489
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:25,590
I'M SORRY. IT'S A 9.
9's GOOD.

490
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,769
OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE DEFINITELY
GONNA MAKE IT A 10

491
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:30,061
ONCE YOU SEE THE DIAMOND
I GOT YOU.

492
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,229
[ GASPS ]
WHERE IS IT?

493
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:32,997
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.

494
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,033
IT'S DEFINITELY A RING.

495
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:44,108
WHOO!
[ LAUGHING ]

496
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,444
COME ON, JAY.
I'M SORRY.

497
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:48,089
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT
YOUR FEELINGS.

498
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,447
CAN WE STOP THIS ALREADY?

499
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:52,583
[ LAUGHING ]

500
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,813
IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF
LIKE A FUNNY...

501
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:57,588
I WILL PROTECT YOU.
GO AHEAD...

502
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:58,756
THERE'S A BEE.

503
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,358
GO UPSTAIRS
AND GET SOMETHING...

504
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,437
YOU BETTER PUT SOMETHING
ON THAT... SOME OINTMENT.

505
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:04,462
[ LAUGHTER ]